I Choose Me

I Choose Me. The First Step in the Self-Love Journey

It’s a Saturday morning, sunlight streams through my window, and I’m sprawled on the couch in my pajamas, reruns blaring. But wait, what am I doing flipping through wedding magazines overflowing with flowing white dresses and ornately decorated cakes? Hold on to your fascinators, because before you jump to conclusions – Mr. Darcy does have a certain charm, no denying that – it’s not a rogue stealing my heart this time. I said yes to myself. I chose me. Yes, you read that right. The crazy thought that pops into my head? Marry myself?

For years, insecurity clung to me like a second skin. I chased external validation like a caffeine-deprived puppy chasing squirrels in Central Park. Compliments were my oxygen, validation my water. I believed someone else was the key to unlocking my happiness, a narrative fueled by countless rom-coms and whispered societal expectations.

Then, one rainy Tuesday, staring into a mascara-stained reflection, a truth dawned on me, bright as a Broadway spotlight: I already have everything I need. I’m a decent writer (with a knack for witty metaphors, if I do say so myself). Adulting isn’t always pretty, but I (mostly) navigate it without setting off fire alarms. And let’s not forget my killer ability to belt out show tunes while simultaneously making breakfast (don’t judge, it’s a survival skill).

So, why not celebrate that awesomeness with the kind of fanfare usually reserved for soulmates and overflowing buffets? Enter the self-marriage. It’s not some narcissistic act, but a commitment to myself, a vow to build a foundation of rock-solid self-love. Because let’s be honest, dating yourself is the ultimate dream relationship. No fighting over the remote control, no passive-aggressive laundry battles, and best of all, you already know your exact order at your favorite pizza place (pepperoni, extra cheese, because life’s too short for skimping on cheese). Plus, the wedding cake becomes a glorious solo mission – no judgment, all deliciousness.

This is my story, and an invitation for you to join this journey of self-discovery. The transformative power of self-love and celebrate all the wins, big and small.

Step 1: The Vows (Because Every Love Story Needs Them)

The idea of marrying myself isn’t a sudden whim. It’s a slow burn, a realization that’s simmered over countless cups of coffee and introspective late nights. I crave a deeper connection, not with someone else, but with myself. So, I’m creating a sacred space, a symbolic vow to prioritize my own well-being and happiness.

Here’s the thing about self-love – it’s a commitment, a daily practice. It’s whispering kind affirmations in the mirror when self-doubt creeps in, a gentle reminder that you are worthy and capable. It’s setting boundaries that honor your needs and saying no without guilt. It’s carving out time for activities that spark joy, whether it’s getting lost in a captivating novel or mastering the art of the perfect latte foam art (because why not?). Think of it like traditional wedding vows, but instead of promising to love someone “in sickness and in health,” you’re promising to love yourself through thick and thin. Here are some vows I’m crafting for myself, a starting point for your own personal declarations:

  • Vow 1: Cherish Myself: I vow to appreciate my strengths, quirks, and even the occasional awkward social blunder. I will treat myself with the same kindness and compassion I’d extend to a dear friend.
  • Vow 2: Honor My Needs: I vow to prioritize sleep, healthy food, and activities that replenish my soul. My body and mind deserve respect, and I will listen to their signals.
  • Vow 3: Forgive Myself: We all make mistakes. I vow to forgive myself for past blunders and learn from them, refusing to let self-criticism hold me back.
  • Vow 4: Embrace Growth: I vow to be a lifelong learner, challenging myself to step outside my comfort zone and embrace new experiences.

Alright, love birds! We’ve exchanged vows (with ourselves, admittedly a little unconventional, but hey, who says romance needs a witness?). Now comes the honeymoon phase, a time for self-pampering and cultivating that inner garden of self-love. Think of it as a luxurious getaway, but instead of the Maldives (although that wouldn’t hurt!), the destination is your own incredible self.

Here are some tips to kickstart your honeymoon with yourself:

  • The Power of Self-Talk: Let’s face it, that voice in our heads can be a real jerk sometimes. Gremlin Greg, as I affectionately (not really) call mine, loves to point out flaws and whisper doubts. But here’s the thing: you control the mic! Start your day with positive affirmations. Look in the mirror and say things you’d say to your best friend: “You’re strong, capable, and freaking awesome!” Silence the negativity with a healthy dose of self-compassion.
  • Befriend Your Body: Our bodies are incredible vessels that carry us through life. But societal pressures and unrealistic beauty standards often lead to a strained relationship. Make peace with your body! Nourish it with healthy food, move it in ways that feel good (think dance parties in your living room, not punishing gym sessions), and appreciate it for all it allows you to do.
  • Mindfulness Matters: We live in a world of constant stimulation. Our brains are bombarded with information overload. Enter mindfulness – the practice of focusing on the present moment. Take a few deep breaths, feel your feet on the ground, and simply be. Meditation apps abound, or simply find a quiet corner and focus on your breath. Even a few minutes of mindfulness can work wonders for reducing stress and increasing self-awareness.
  • Discover Your Passions: Remember that childhood joy of painting with reckless abandon or getting lost in a good book? Reconnect with activities that spark joy. Maybe it’s writing poetry, playing the ukulele (because why not?), or building elaborate sandcastles at the beach (adulting doesn’t have to be all seriousness!).
  • Create a Self-Care Sanctuary: Your environment has a huge impact on your well-being. Transform your living space into a haven of self-love. Surround yourself with things that inspire you, light scented candles (lavender for relaxation, citrus for a mood boost!), or invest in a comfy throw blanket for cozy nights in.
  • Embrace the Power of “No”: Boundaries, my friends, are essential. Saying no to things that drain your energy or don’t align with your values is a powerful act of self-love. Don’t be afraid to politely decline invitations or requests that leave you feeling overwhelmed.

  • Celebrate the Wins (Big and Small): We often focus on what we haven’t achieved, neglecting to acknowledge our progress. Did you finally finish writing that chapter of your novel? Celebrate! Did you conquer your fear of public speaking? Time for a self-high five! Recognizing your accomplishments, big or small, fuels motivation and reinforces positive self-belief.

Remember, self-love isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. There will be bumps along the way, days when Gremlin Greg gets a little loud. But with these tools and a commitment to yourself, you can cultivate a deep and lasting love for the most important person in your life: you.

So, grab your metaphorical glass of bubbly (or a soothing cup of tea, whatever floats your boat), and start this incredible adventure of self-love and self-discovery. Because when you love yourself fiercely, the rest of the world starts to feel a whole lot brighter.

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  1. […] I choose me, and that’s the best gift I could ever give myself. […]